I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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