Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
