omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
