The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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