Kareoke will never be a sober sport
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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