Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
