I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
