It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
