i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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