you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
