I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize