yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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