Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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