i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
