If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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