I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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