so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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