I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
