Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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