everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We were destined to go to rehab together
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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