I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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