Plan B is the new Plan A
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize