"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
