They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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