i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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