Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
why is half of my head shaved?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
