if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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