Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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