There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
