I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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