Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
