Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize