i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
