I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
