alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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