I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
