there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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