did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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