Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
