I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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