shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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