i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
