So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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