sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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