Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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