we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
