i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
