I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
