Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
