Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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