Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
