You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
