Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
