So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
