I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
