For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
