Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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