I got chris browned last night
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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