So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize