Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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