Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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