have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
