Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
