Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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