i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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