talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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