I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
