Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
