I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
