You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
