I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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