So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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